In girum imus nocte
by Nanuk
Summary: A story set around Gates Of Hell
1. Default Chapter

Author´s note: Set sometime around Gates Of Hell  
  
_______________________  
  
"Michael? Michael, where are you?"  
  
She shouted down the emty hallway, clutching her gun with both hands, looking for any sign that he might have been here. It didn´t make sense to her and she didn´t pretend that it did: Michael didn´t use standard sequences, never had- everybody knew at least that much. Why should he do it this time when he had nothing to lose?  
  
Maybe because he had nothing to lose? She wasn´t sure, and thinking about it only confused her. He didn´t behave like he used to do, and she was afraid that he would hurt someone in his rage- and be cancelled.  
  
She could understand what made him accept the most difficult operations all alone, could see the pain the tried to shut up in himself- and knew that it wouldn´t work. Well, it had worked so far, so perhaps Walter had been right in suggesting that she should leave him alone to live his own life again.  
  
But she feared for his life, and his disappearance during this mission confused her more than she would admit in front of Walter and Birkoff who seemed only concerned with her welfare. None of them knew for sure what she felt for Michael -could she blame them when she didn´t know it herself?- but she knew he was able to destroy everything she had learned to accept and love, including himself, and she couldn´t let him do that.  
  
"Michael, where are you?"  
  
She already heard the other teams coming nearer and was getting slightly nervous. She wanted to be the one who found him, wanted to talk to him a few minutes in private- when he was still alive and had not been kidnapped or drugged by some new enemy of Section.  
  
"Nikita?"  
  
Her heart dropped a few inches deeper.  
  
"Damn, Birkoff, what is it?"  
  
"We have him. Come back."  
  
Damn, she thought again over her relief that he was well and suddenly noticed that she didn´t know whether he was indeed well or not. Even if he was, he wouldn´t be long once Madeline and Operations found out. _________  
  
He was well, and well when he came back from Systems from his meeting with their superiors. Nikita couldn´t help but stare at him when they met on the way to their next gathering.  
  
He just ignored her as always when he was lost in thoughts, wearing his usual blank mask to hide whatever dangerous thoughts he was thinking.  
  
She decided to adress him nonetheless, if only to fing out his momentary mood.  
  
"How are you?" she whispered, walking slowly next to him. For one moment she thought that he chose to overhear her when he turned to give her a long green look.  
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
"Of course it does", she answered, returning his gaze. Finally he shrugged, still intently watching her face, and left her standing in the corridor.  
  
When she felt a hand on her shoulder, she sighed.  
  
"I can´t help him", she said  
  
"No, honey, you can´t", Walter said, taking her arm and leading her down the floor towards her seat, "but you can be there for him when he needs you."  
  
_____  
  
She went on watching him the following days as she had done before but never noticed a difference in his behaviour. Quiet and level he was- and dangerous. Neither Opeations nor Madeline were criticizing him these days but they too mus have noticed his remoteness, a remote that was unusual even for Michael.  
  
It happened during the next mission. She was in the house they were expected to destroy and when she came out she found she was alone. Michael had left his location. She had no time to think about it for moments later the bomb exploded and she was covered with ash and fire in her hiding place.  
  
"I don´t know where he is", Birkoff repeated impatiently for the hundredth time. "All I know is that the last signal from his communicator came from inside the house."  
  
Nikita closed her eyes, thinking hard. It couldn´t be.  
  
To be continued soon. 


	2. chapter two

Author´s note: The title: In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni: means in a crude translation: At night we walk in circles, burned by fire.  
  
Chapter two  
  
Operations rushed into the meeting room, still arguing with Madeline.  
  
"That´s enough. We can´t ignore it any longer. It had been a fault we did it last time."  
  
He stared at the agents with his ice-blue eyes, taking in every uncertainty that might have been there. In the end he told them what had happened before.  
  
"Michael has used data that is strictly forbidden, then destroyed it. Even Mr. Birkoff was unable to restore them so that it is now absolutely necessary to get Michael´s copy."  
  
"The first time he broke into the central computer was to find his son", Madeline put in. "We thought that he would never be able to use the information, but we were wrong. We don´t know what his intentions are but when Michael chooses to publish or sell the files Section will be destroyed.  
  
Right now we have no idea where he could be, and he knows it. All of you know that he is one of the best agents. Therefore we have to be very careful in everything that we do."  
  
"Of course we´ll watch all connections to Adam but maybe that won´t do. Every single agent will be used to search for him. All other missions will be canceled. You will get your mission profiles as fast as possible. That´s all." ***  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
Nikita and Walter watched Operations leave the conference room. Walter shook his head.  
  
"I don´t know. Michael is damn good, and as they said that they don´t have any clue where he might be, it may be that we never see him again."  
  
He noticed the look on her face and suddenly sounded alarmed.  
  
"No, honey, no. You can´t do anything, believe me. Stay away from the fire, this is what you can do."  
  
He took both her arms and and made her look into his face.  
  
"Promise you won´t do anything foolish?"  
  
"He could be dead right now", she whispered, tears already in her throat. Walter shook her slightly, his voice firm.  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"Yes", she answered slowly, with only a bit of hesitation. Walter grinned at her.  
  
"That´s my girl. Now go and bring him back."  
  
***  
  
It was soon clear that they were searching for a ghost. Nobody had seen him, heard of him. All stations, bus and subway routes were controlled, every border crossing watched. It seemed impossible to find him. He had disappeared.  
  
Operations slowly went mad. Madeline didn´t say anything. As the weeks went by, Operations was forced to take up other missions again. Still there hadn´t been one single sign from Michael. Other terrorist groups were as active as ever, but there was no attack on Section, nothing that revealed that he had sold the records.  
  
Everyone´s nerves were lying free. Birkoff was already doubting that Michael was still alive. Walter was grinning whenever he watched Operations on the perch. Nikita was tired and almost losing hope of ever seeing him again.  
  
For eight days in a row she had been on a mission to find him, as always without success, and now she felt worn out. She was aware of Operations anger that one of his agents was running free. However, much as she worried about Michael, she noticed she was nevertheless proud of this demonstration of his power.  
  
***  
  
"Josephine." His voice was as clear and suble as ever.  
  
"Yes?" Breathlessly, she waited for his answer.  
  
"Downstairs, two minutes." He paused for a moment, then continued: " Bring something to eat."  
  
A cab was waiting for her at the corner and she got in without hesitating. She was wearing only her nightshirt and a robe, holding the small package with food tight in her hands in her nervousness. The driver ignored her completely so that she was left to her confused thoughts.  
  
Finally they stopped in front of an old house some miles outside the town. More than curious she got out, stretched her legs and looked around. Old trees were standing everywhere, the grass in the garden was long and irregular.  
  
Suddenly the front door opened. A small boy ran out and threw himself into her arms.  
  
"Nikita! What are you doing here? Have you brought Mom and Dad?" Adam´s dark eyes were shining as he looked up at her. Completely taken aback, she just smiled at him.  
  
"No, I´m all alone. Where´s Mummy?" While talking she took his hand and went to the house with him, letting her gaze wander along the trees while she listened to his story. It was hard to be so near to someone whom Michael loved so desperately, and she knew he had to be close by.  
  
"Mummy went to visit Grandpa. I miss her, Nikita. When will she come back?" Adam´s voice had become smaller and smaller while speaking, and Nikita bent down and hugged him tight.  
  
"Don´t be afraid, darling. It won´t be long until she comes back." She tried to sound cheerful and noticed that it worked on Adam, but the truth was that she was more than troubled. Elena´s father was dead, killed by Section. Where was she that she had left Adam behind? When Nikita had visited her not long after the "death" of Michael, she found that Elena had devoted her life to her son to flee from her own pain. Nothing could have taken her from the side of her boy. But of more importance was that Adam had mentioned Michael whom he knew dead. She let go of him and watched his face.  
  
"Darling", she began very softly, "Daddy won´t come back to you."  
  
His cheeks were already stained with tears, nonetheless he stared at her, his eyes round and exited.  
  
"But I saw him.", he protested, "last night he stood right next to my bed."  
  
Hopelessly she smiled at him. "T´was only a dream, honey", she said soothingly. It almost broke her heart to see the hope fade from his eyes, so more so because she knew that Adam was probably right.  
  
"Why do you think your Daddy came to see you?" she asked. He had bent his head and she lifted it with her fingertips. "Last week Nanny got a phone call from two men. They said that Mummy was dead." His lip quivered but he managed to go on. "Then there was another phone call saying that she would come back. So I thought if Mummy could come back, Daddy could, too."  
  
Sadly she shook her head and took him in her arms again. "No, darlin´, he won´t come back to you. But I know that he is very proud of you, and that he loves you with all his heart. You must remember that always, will you?" She felt Adam nod silently against her shoulder and shivered when she saw the dark shadow beyond the trees watching them. *** "I´m sure you will." She had brought Adam back to the house where she had found that his nanny, a reasonable woman in her forties, with gentle manners, was already worried and searching for him. Mrs. Jenkins, thus relieved of her fear of her fear of losing Adam, had invited Nikita to stay for breakfast, obviously wondering what she was doing outside wearing a nightshirt, but was too polite to ask. The tea and scones were excellent and Nikita could see easily that Adam liked her. Promising that she would soon come to visist Adam, Nikita turned to go, having made sure that Mrs. Jenkins stayed with Adam and hearing the promise that he would be well cared for, whatever happened.  
  
Slowly she went along the line of trees, glancing back to the house every now and then to find the place where she had thought she had seen Michael standing and watching her. But she saw nothing, no footprints, no broken twigs or fallen leaves. She already started wondering whether her eyes had played a trick on her when she suddenly noticed what nade her feel uneasy.  
  
It was quiet. Not a single bird sang in the trees, no bee was humming. It was absolutely quiet. She was completely alone. The house had faded from her view about ten minutes ago. She shivered. And then slowly turned around. 


	3. chapter three

Author´s note: There has been a problem while uploading, I´m sorry for that. Actually, I had typed chapter three already and uploaded it, but due to some problem, I don´t know what happenend, fanfiction.net uploaded chapter two again, and as I had deleted it already, I had to type it again. Along with a bit of stress in university, that´s why it took so long. Sorry!  
  
Chapter three  
  
She shivered. And then slowly turned around.  
  
He was leaning against a tree, watching her. She let out her breath and started to speak when he abruptly stepped two paces back and went deeper into the woods. Having no choice, she followed him silently through the bushes and past ancient trees until he finally stopped near a small stream. There he motioned her towards a bench where she sat down, tense with expectations.  
  
"How is he?" Michael had turned around and glanced at her. The suddenness of his motions told her more than his words could have done, and without hesitation she told him about her meeting with Adam and the impression she had gotten of his nanny. Meanwhile she looked him up and down.  
  
Michael was the worse to look at. His face was hollow and bearded, he looked tired and there were dark shadows under his eyes. She didn´t think that he had slept in several days. Nevertheless he stayed upright and kept on looking at her, his gaze as intent as ever, until she had finished her story. His remoteness usually didn´t trouble her for she had become used to it, but as he now turned to go, she thought she deserved better.  
  
"Michael?" She stood up and went to face him, their faces were inches apart. "Surely there is something you wanted to tell me?"  
  
He didn´t avoid her look nor did he react at her provocation. Not at once. For seconds he just stared at her, holding her gaze. Then he threw her to the ground.  
  
Buried under his body she heard the echos of the shot in her mind and felt his heartbeat against hers before he moved again.  
  
"Just a hunter", he said, taking her hand and pulling her upright.  
  
"Thank you, Nikita", he whispered when she stood next to him, "for taking care of Adam."  
  
Softly she stroked his cheek. He didn´t draw back. "It´s not only Adam I´m caring for."  
  
* * *  
  
Damn, she thought as she took a look at her sleeve.  
  
She had left Michael in the small clearing after he very reluctantly had told her about his intentions. Elena had been kidnapped by people who thought her responsible for Vacek´s death. Those people were aware of Section´s existence, tooand in any kind of interference they would have killed her at once.  
  
Nikita remembered the look on Michaels face when he told her, and she knew that telling Section would be Elena´s death sentence. Instead, he had taken it on himself to free her, taking the records as possible wares to change. But nothing had happened so far and he was forced to wait for further developments.  
  
She had left the food with him and hugged him good-bye. And now she stared at the blood-stained sleeve of her jacket where it had touched Michael´s back and cursed him. And herself. She should have known that he only told her because this way it was easier to make her leave. Damn the man. Probably everything he had told her had been a lie. Angry because of her own stupidness she tossed away her nightshirt and went into the bathroom.  
  
*  
  
"I´ve seen him."  
  
She watched Walter choke on her words and waited until he had overcome his surprise. Cautiously he looked around, then turned back to her. Stared at her.  
  
"You´re sure, honey?"  
  
She felt the impatience rise in herself.  
  
"Listen. He is tired, starving and wounded and I don´t have the slightest idea how to help him. So please, concentrate on that what matters."  
  
"Yeah sure, but don´t you think that is almost impossible? You don´t even know what this all is about."  
  
Nikita sighed. Of course Walter was right. She recalled the few things she knew, that Elena had been kinapped and Michael stolen files that were most important, and found that it made no sense at all. Walter suddenly interupted her thoughts.  
  
"Why did he call you?"  
  
"What do you mean?" Her gaze made him look uneasy.  
  
"I only mean, why should he phone you to come? He managed to escape all our inquiries for almost two months. Why should he risk to give up his incognito?"  
  
She felt embarressed. "Well, he trusts me."  
  
Walter shook his head.  
  
"No, honey, he doesn´t trust anybody, not now. So why did he do it?"  
  
"He asked me how Adam was.", she whispered, bending her head, "he asked only that."  
  
"Yeah honey, he only asked that." Walter comfortingly stroked her arm. "He wanted someone to see that Adam isn´t alone and as he could show himself, he sent you.", his voice trailed off and he looked at her with a new intensity, mingled with pride. "You´re right! He trusts you!"  
  
Nikita had jumped at his sudden outburst and now shyly smiled at him.  
  
"God, that I should have lived to witness something like this.", Walter grinned at her, feeling that at least he had cheered her up a bit.  
  
*  
  
They decided to try to find out as much as possible with Birkoff´s help. That proved to become a hard test for all of them, for firstly they had to concentrate on their current missions, secondly were closely watched. And thirdly Michael chose to play a more active role what made it by no means easier for them to follow their tasks.  
  
He interfered in several missions caausing them to fail to eliminate four terrorist leaders. Operations rage was beyond everything Nikita had experienced so far, the more so because Michael always got away unharmed and disappeared again until "his" next "mission".  
  
Nikita was near desperation, only Birkoff´s discovery that those band members all worked underground for the same people helped her tp believe in Michael´s innocence and goodwill. It was hard for her to keep her meeting with him secret, both Walter and Birkoff tried to make her change her mind and tell Madeline and it was only their friendship that silenced them.  
  
But two weeks after she had seen him everything suddenly changed. With Michael´s absence it was Birkoff who called her to come to Section, and already on the phone she could sense that something very unusual had happened.  
  
Indeed, it seemed that all hell had broken lose in Section when she arrived there. Walter immediately told her what had happened, and his face showed more excitement than she was used to.  
  
"Operation´s still trying to understand it, and Madeline is smiling that knowing smile of hers.", he grinned and led her to his rooms for a few seconds of private talk.  
  
Michael had obviously changed his mind about betraying Section and had sent back the disks, together with a minute description where to find the terrorists he had helped to escape before.  
  
"Is it sure it was Michael who sent it?" She too coulndn´t make it out except that something had happened that had forced him to act.  
  
"Yeah, without doubts. Birkoff was lucky to find and decode it, some minutes later it would have been gone. But you have to go now, there´s a meeting for your next mission." Walter seriously looked at her and helplessly shook his head before he let her go. "A wonder the boy isn´t driving you mad."  
  
She laughed and kissed Walter´s cheek. "He is, Walter, he is." * As always, Michael had worked more than decently. All orders given were precise to the last point, all checkpoints correct. He couldn´t have made it better if he had been in Section all the time, Nikita thought.  
  
They had just finished the last mission and she had arrived at her door when she noticed that something was wrong. All lights were turned off, the windows shut and the curtains drawn. It was quiet.  
  
Slowly she went through her rooms, her gun ready in her hand, but nothing moved. Cautiously she stepped up the steps leading to her bedroom when she heard someone breathe. Careful not to make any sound that would betray her presence she moved closer to the bed and caught a glimpse of dark hair under the sheet when he suddenly started to speak from behind her.  
  
"I drugged him. He won´t remember anything."  
  
She let her hand fall down to her side. He was sitting on the ground with his back next to the wall. She didn´t want to imagine how long he had been sitting here, watching over his son´s sleep. Instead, she sat down next to him in the darkness, took his hand and caresssed the grazes on his skin.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"They shot Mrs. Jenkins this morning." His voice sounded indifferent and she didn´t know whether it was because he didn´t care or because of sheer tiredness. With regret she thought of the nice housekeeper.  
  
"They were in the house, breaking the bargain we had, so I got Adam and made sure that nobody would follow us."  
  
For the first time he adressed her directly. "I´m sorry but I didn´t know where else to go."  
  
Surprised she looked at him but he had already turned his head and watched Adam.  
  
"Is it true", she asked softly, "what you told me about Elena?"  
  
It took him a few minutes but he finally asnwered. "Yes. They wanted the files and promised not to tell her about me, about me being alive, in exchange for my knowledge."  
  
"And Section would rather have killed her than agreed to this bargain", she added. Michael didn´t answer. He didn´t have to.  
  
* "What will you do now?"  
  
"I don´t know."  
  
His hand was warm in hers, but the confession of his helplessness made her shiver. She had become used to the fact that Michael always knew what to do. She sighed.  
  
"You should try and get some sleep." As he didn´t respond she shrugged and stood up. "I will get some coffee."  
  
But when she came back, carrying two mugs of steaming coffee in her hands she found that he had fallen asleep sitting where he was, relieved for one small moment of the burden of responsibility and watchfulness. For a second she just looked at him, then she put down the cups and lit a candle.  
  
She knelt down in front of him, the shadows of the tiny light flickered around the walls and deepened the lines on his face. The long lashes lay still on the high cheeks but his lips were pressed tight together. Moved by tenderness she stroked the line of his jaw. He looked worse than ever, thin and worn out, his clothes were torn in several spots. Gently she opened the buttons of his shirt when he suddenly opened his eyes.  
  
"Nikita.", he started, but she had seen how tired he was and when she didn´t know how to help him, she knew what he needed now most of all.  
  
"Take off you r shirt and I will fetch you a blanket." She didn´t wait for him to answer but went and got it and when she came back she saw that he had done what she wanted. The candle still burned by his side and when he turned she saw the long dark-red line on his shoulder where the bullet had grazed him two weeks ago. She sat down by his side and wrapped him up, careful not to hurt him too much, wanting him to lie down and sleep.  
  
He had seen the look on her face in the darknees and shrugged. "It doesn´t matter."  
  
"Of course it does."  
  
Sighing, he leant back against the wall and closed his eyes, ignoring her words.  
  
"You have to tell Section. I will try to free Elena and maybe."  
  
She didn´t want to hear what maybe could happen and interupted him. "Michael, please.let me help you."  
  
"No." His words were soft, barely a whisper. "You have to take care of Adam for me when.", he broke off, sharply drawing in his breath when he scratched his shoulder at the wall moving slightly.  
  
She didn´t wait for his rejection but gently took his hand and made him lie down until his head rested in her lap.  
  
"Don´t worry. I´ll take care." Her hand stroke the curve of his back when she heard his voice again, covered by darkness.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
*  
  
"Do you think that Elena is still alive?"  
  
She asked that question the next morning when she noticed that he slowly woke from his dreams. He didn´t sat up at once nor did he pretend to be still asleep. Instead he just looked at her, still lying on the ground, then took her hand and kissed her palm. His eyes glanced sadly towards the bed where Adams head was visible under the sheets.  
  
"I hope so." 


	4. chapter four

Chapter four  
  
"Do you think that Elena is still alive?"  
  
She asked that question the next morning when she noticed that he woke slowly from his dreams. He didn´t sat up at once nor did he pretend to be still asleep. Instead he just looked at her, still lyingon the ground, then took her hand and kissed her palm. His eyes glanced sadly towards the bed where Adam´s head was visible under the sheets.  
  
"I hope so."  
  
* * *  
  
She told Section as he had wanted to, leaving out only their first encounter in the woods. Operations and Madeline listened with great interest to her story. Finally Madeline smiled at her.  
  
"And that happened only last night? He just came to you?"  
  
Nikita returned her gaze. "Yes. He asked me to tell you."  
  
"Indeed. And where is he now?" Operations walked up and down in front of her, his mind already working on the mission profile.  
  
"I don´t know where Adam is.", nervously Nikita tried to figure out how Madeline would react. "But I know where Michael is"; she added, trying to forget how she betrayed him by giving him the transmitter. Operations gave her a long look.  
  
"Wonderful. Go to Birkoff and start working."  
  
Relieved, she nodded. "Yes, sir."  
  
*  
  
The mission seemed to be very simple but Nikita was worried. The blackmailers would die soon, but what would happen to Michael? His behaviour couldn´t be ignored, he had left Section on purpose, following what he thought was his own mission. But maybe, if he was lucky, it would become a matter of Section now, leaving him at least alive.  
  
They were too late. Michael had been faster. Corpses were lying along the floors in the old house that was the base of "Black Wing", drawing a picture of the fight that had happened not long before. Carefully they followed the cruel trail that marked Michael´s anger. The sounds audible in the upper floors when they arrived had stopped. Cautiously they stepped forward. The lights didn´t work, and nobody knew whether it was a trap they just entered.  
  
"Birkoff, where is he?" She glanced along the floors and corners, listening to the tiny voice in her ear. Another agent, Luke, covered her back.  
  
"On the upper floor, just right from the stairs. Five people around him, all unmoving."  
  
Relieved, she signaled to her partner, and ran towards the stairs when a cry held her back.  
  
"Stay away!"  
  
Turning, she saw Luke falling down, and while Michael´s voice still echoed in her ear, she tried to escape from the gun fire that had suddenly started and hid behind a corner. Reloading her gun and ignoring the fast beat of her heart that had started when she saw how Michael was wrestled down, she tried to find out what had gone wrong.  
  
"Birkoff?"  
  
"Stay where you are. They know now it was a trap."  
  
"What about Elena, and Michael? You told me he was upstairs!" Still angry she tried to find a bit of sense in it.  
  
"Wait a minute."  
  
She knew he was listening to the reports of the other agents and cautiously glanced around the corner. Four men were still guarding Michael who stood in the midst of them, hands above his head.  
  
"Nikita?"  
  
"Yes?" Silently she prayed for good news and held her breath.  
  
"We have her. She was where Michael told us she would be. She is alright, only a bit bruised. What about you?"  
  
Again she held her breath before answering.  
  
"I´m alone. They got Luke. And they have Michael. Where are the other teams? I need."  
  
A sudden noise and loud screams interupted her calculations, and then she heard Michael´s voice again, strangled and hoarse.  
  
".the Collective."  
  
* * *  
  
"How is he?"  
  
Michael had freed himself from his guards, starting a sudden attack and running from the men lying on the ground, when a man, whom she thought she had seen before, appeared right behind him. She had shot him, but not after his bullet had hit its original target. Like in slow motion she watched Michael falling down and only when he hit the floor she started hearing the sounds around her again.  
  
She didn´t know how he did it, but Operations and Madeline forgave him. It was only when Birkoff started to tell her about the Collective when she started to understand.  
  
"I only know what Operations said", he reluctantly began his report, recognizing that he would only get back to work when her curiousity was satisfied. "He was lucky to discover that it was the Collective who was responsible. Otherwise he would be dead now." Noticing her frown he shrugged and turned back to his computers. That´s all I know."  
  
She sat by his side and watched him. A week was gone since they had met, and the lines of his face had softened a bit. He was paler than she had ever seen him, and all the wires and needles disturbed her, but the doctors reassured her that he would recover. He hadn´t been awake yet, so all that was left for her to do was to sit and watch and stroke his hand.  
  
Walter entered the med-lab, looking concerned, but not worried. She sighed.  
  
"They say he´ll soon be better. Some news?" Interested she stood up and took a few steps around the room, stretching her back. Walter watched her amused.  
  
"Nothing in particular. Some wars, some terrorists, the usual things. Oh, and, um, Operations want to talk to you."  
  
She glared at him and he lifted his hands in played confusion.  
  
"Maybe an invitation for dinner?"  
  
She laughed. "Certainly not."  
  
*  
  
She met Operations on the perch and watched him pacing silently before she adressed him. As always he didn´t lose time.  
  
"What did Michael say when he was in your flat?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Did he mention the Collective?"  
  
Surprised she stared at him. She didn´t understand why that was important.  
  
"No." Her irritation must have shown on her face, for after a short glance in her direction, Operations told her what she wanted to know.  
  
"The Collective is the worst enemy Section ever had. Sometimes they have the luck to discover disks about our agents, stolen disks, copied disks, most important disks. They try to eliminate us, but until now we manage to hold them back- if we know who they are. They are the best in hiding themselves.  
  
Michael called them by their name -The Collective- shortly before he was shot. That helped us to discover a new base and we could destroy it, but where got he the knowledge from? Why didn´t he say so before?"  
  
"You don´t think that he worked with them?" She was almost sure but wanted to hear it from Operations himself.  
  
"He certainly wouldn´t work for someone who killed his parents, now would he?" He was back to cynism.  
  
Taken aback she just stared at him.  
  
"Oh, you didn´t know that?" He smiled his foxlike smile. "You can go now."  
  
*  
  
"Hey, welcome back."  
  
Holding his hand, she bent over him when he opened his eyes. She saw him frown in concentration as he tried to remember what had happened and smiled when he finally looked at her.  
  
"You´re alive", she said.  
  
His mouth twitched. "More or less. And why?"  
  
"I don´t know", she answered honestly, trying to avoid his eyes. "Maybe it has something to do with the Collective? Operations seems to be very glad of your telling him."  
  
He pressed her hand in return, making her look at him again.  
  
"It was only a game. They knew I was the only one who could recognize their leader for I have seen him once before. So they wanted me out of the way and took Elena to make me do as they liked. They were sure I wouldn´t tell Section."  
  
"But you did."  
  
"What I did was telling you." His lucent green eyes held hers in a tight grip. She couldn´t look away. To cover her embaressment she tried to change the topic.  
  
"When did you know that it was the Collective and not Black Wing? Where did you get to know him?"  
  
It worked. Immediately he closed his eyes and turned away his head. When he opened them again he stared at the wall and sighed.  
  
"It was your transmitter. When they discovered it in the hall, they didn´t know what to do with me, so they had to ask for advice. It was the first time they communicated with their leader in front of me- and they called him by his name. When I knew they were from the Collective I finished them off and tried to get down to warn you, but they got me. You know what happened then."  
  
She said nothing for a while but just looked at him, still holding his hand.  
  
"Where´s Adam?" she finally asked, not daring to think what the answer might be.  
  
He didn´t answer. He didn´t do anything. He watched her face, taking in every breath she took, and she knew from the set line of his jaw that whatever happened he would keep silent about the whereabouts of his son until all dangers were averted, and not care about the consequences.  
  
She just opened her mouth when Operations suddenly entered the room. They let go of their hands at once, but he didn´t seem to notice, just adressed Michael without delay.  
  
"You know it was Henderson?"  
  
"Yes, without doubt. I heard them call him, and I saw him behind me. It was Henderson." His voice sounded clear and strong again she noticed with mixed feelings.  
  
"Good." He turned to leave but stopped halfway, facing Michael once more, ignoring Nikita completely.  
  
"I give you my word that Elena and Adam will be well cared for."  
  
Michael bent his head in a short acknowledgement, both men graciously overlooking the fact that he was still lying in bed, until Operations had left.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
Confused, Michael looked at her. "What do you mean?"  
  
"´I saw him behind me.´? Can you please explain that to me?" She had the feeling that he would have shrugged had he been able to. Instead he looked at her with his unnerving stare.  
  
"He was upstairs, right behind me as I said."  
  
"Where did he know from that you suddenly would change sides? So that he was able to be there in time to shoot you?"  
  
"I don´t know what you mean."  
  
"No?" She returned his gaze unblinking. "It was you who freed Elena, so you could tell Section where to find her. When she was gone it was clear for the Collective that you were a traitor." She shivered. "You had already freed her when you came to me and nonetheless you went back to let them shoot you?"  
  
She looked at him and found the answer herself. "Of course, Section would have cancelled you otherwise."  
  
Unconsciously, she softly stroked the line of his brow. "You managed to escape nine men, Michael. You could have died. Did you do it for Adam? You must try to stay alive. One day he´ll need you."  
  
Her voice was nearly gone. Tears dropped on the white linen sheet as he lifted his hand and gently touched her cheek.  
  
"I know. I´ll try."  
  
*  
  
She visited Elena in her new home, not telling Michael that she did although she was almost sure that he didn´t want to know, as a matter of safety for all of them. Adam couldn´t remember anything, as Michael had said. Mischieviously he ran around, knocking everyone flat who was in his way. Elena did remember, but she didn´t understand. It almost broke Nikita´s heart to see her like this, absent-mindedly watching Adam, thinking, shivering.  
  
Nikita hugged her tight, trying to give her a bit of comfort. They drank tea, saying nothing, but Nikita could see that her gaze went more than once towards the fireside where Michael´s picture stood on the mantelpiece.  
  
"I dreamt about him last night", she said unexpectedly, making Nikita sat up in watchfulness. "Adam did, too." She sighed and faced Nikita once more, smiling slightly, remembering how often they had already spoken of him. They didn´t need it anymore.  
  
"He was wonderful", she simply said.  
  
*  
  
Cautiously she entered med-lab but he had fallen asleep, exhausted by the events of the day. She sat down on a chair next to him, watching him as she had done so often. Right now he looked like the child that he once might have been, innocent and vulnerable. But the lines on his face drew a picture of his life, and in seconds he became again the man she knew, mysterious, ruthless, hard and uncontrollable, unassessable.  
  
He moved suddenly, opening his eyes. She held her breath and tried to figure out what had betrayed her presence, but he just looked at her and then, all of a sudden, smiled before he went back to sleep.  
  
She let out her breath and stood up. Looking down on him, she felt she would never know all the sides of his character. The man in front of her was different from the man in the picture, pale and worn out by the life he led, but he was alive. Maybe more alive than he had ever been.  
  
Softly she stroked his cheek and then turned to leave.  
  
-end- 


End file.
